Under the Big Top
by Nekomon
Summary: Kagome, a flying trapeze artist, and voluntarily leaves her family and friends behind in the Retticere Circus to be the trapeze partner of Inuyasha, who had just lost his original partner to a horrifying accident. Will he accept her? I/K
1. Default Chapter

Ooi minna! Yes, I have come out with another fic.I apologize! I couldn't help it! I was watching tv and I turned to Bravo and they were showing this French circus and.well.the idea popped into my head! Don't worry, I haven't given up on Inuyasha: A Victorian Love Story, I've got the next chapter almost all written out and I should be posting that sooon.so anyway, on with the fic! Oh..and I don't know very much.if anything about circuses..so those of you who are experts, don't hurt me please if I screw something up really bad! And yes this is a Inuyasha/Kagome! ^.^  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and Co.  
  
Chapter 1: The Last Performance  
  
  
  
  
  
Kagome sighed as she sat in front of a mirror in the ladies dressing room part of the trailer. There was a big show tonight, and even after being in the Retticere Circus all of her life with her family, her father, mother, and little brother Souta, she was still nervous. The Higurashi family was the main attraction of course, the trapeze act being the most dangerous and showy performance the small circus had.  
  
Shiori Ratticere and his friends had started the circus many, many years ago. It took years of searching and saving before everything came into place, even though the circus was always pretty small. It was a very popular circus and the acts were usually new and exciting to watch.  
  
Kagome's parents had met through the circus. Her father had run away and joined, starting as a juggler and doing a balancing act on a ball when he met her mother, the only trapeze artist since her parents had died. They fell in love instantly and were married soon after, Kagome being born only two years later. She had taken to the trapeze easily as a child and was out performing with her parents as soon as they were comfortable with her doing it. Souta was born a few years later and was also a natural with the trapeze.  
  
So the Higurashi family then became the main act, captivating audiences with their daring flips, spins and jumps. Kagome loved to see the smiles of children as their performance ended, their little hands clapping loudly for her and her family. There were many nice people that had their own performances that made up the Ratticere Circus. There was Megan, the French contortionist, Alice the Persian belly dancer, Jordan and Josh the German twins who juggled and did acrobatics, Yamagi, Fuji, Wantanbe, Ishikawa, Lloyd, and Shizuka who filled in as clowns and Fuji also did lion taming. They were such friendly people and worked very hard.  
  
"Kagome."  
  
She turned on her stool to face the door to see her mother's smiling face.  
  
"Oh, hi Mama." Kagome said, smiling as her mother came in and sat on the stool next to her. Her mother woore a simple, light green leotard with tan colored leggings and only one sleeve for her left arm. White beads danced in a V-shape from the neck and a string of them went around her stomach like a belt. Light green toe shoes covered her feet and her hair was cut short so she wore a beaded tiara. She smiled warmly at her daughter.  
  
"Nervous?" She asked softly.  
  
Kagome nodded. "I don't know why Mama but I always get nervous before a performance, even though we have done it so many times before!" She said, setting the little compact of eye shadow on the table.  
  
Mrs. Higurashi smiled. "Don't worry Kagome, it's good to be nervous before a show. It's been said though that it's when you aren't nervous is when you should worry. They say it's bad luck to be that confident before a show; something bad might happen."  
  
Kagome's eyes widened. "Well I will NEVER be that confident! I don't think I ever could! These butterflies are just awful!"  
  
Mrs. Higurashi set a hand over Kagome's trembling ones. "It's okay Kagome, really." She said with a bright smile. "Nothing bad is going to happen."  
  
She nodded and hesitantly smiled. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. Light green eye shadow arched over the top of her eyes and a very light shade of pink, only to add a tint of color, spread over her lips. Her hair was wrapped in a tight bun near the top of her head and she wore an identical leotard as her mother's, except she only had a sleeve for her right arm. Her foot began to tap nervously as the silence settled in like the rolling of a wave. Kagome sighed. A sudden knock at the door startled her and she practically jumped out of her skin. It was just her father and Souta.  
  
"You almost killed me!" Kagome cried, a hand clenching her racing heart and her jellied legs starting to get some feeling back.  
  
"Sorry Butterfly." Mr. Higurashi said, bending over to give Kagome a reassuring kiss on the forehead. Souta jumped from one foot to the other, his anticipation also showing as if he were a pane of glass.  
  
"Are you nervous sis? I sure am!" He said, continuing to jump. "I do this 'cause it helps me get calm!"  
  
Kagome didn't say anything. She was too busy trying to take deep breaths.  
  
"C'mon sis, do this with me! You'll feel a lot better!" Souta said, stopping momentarily to pull Kagome from her seat and begin hopping back and forth again. "Like this!"  
  
Just to humor him Kagome took a deep breath and began hopping back and forth just as he did, and surprisingly it helped a little! She began to feel her anxiety leaving her slowly.  
  
"See? It's helping isn't it?" Souta said, looking up at Kagome. She nodded and smiled at him. "Mama, Papa, come on! You two do it too!"  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Higurashi, who had been laughing merrily at the sight of Kagome and Souta, looked at each other with amused grins on their faces before hopping up and joining their children themselves. Soon they were all laughing and hopping back and forth from one foot to the other. Kagome couldn't have been happier at that moment. She was with her family who loved her so much and she was doing something that she loved. What more could she have asked for?  
  
A red light shone above the door from a large light bulb and the Higurashi family stopped suddenly. Kagome exchanged nervous glances from one member to the other. With a sigh she followed her mother and father out with Souta closely behind.  
  
It was show time.  
  
' @ '  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere far from where the Retticere Circus was beginning, another circus was about to begin also. A woman sat in front of her very own dressing room mirror; giant light bulbs glowed merrily around the square shape of it as she applied her midnight blue eye shadow, following the lovely arc of her eye. She smiled grimly to herself when she finished. Her hair was pulled up in a bun on top of her head; two tendrils flowing freely down her face. She sighed. She was tired. Tired of the glitz and glamour. Tired of the training and injuries that came with the "profession." There was just too much traveling for her also.  
  
She had liked the circus biz for the few years she had been in it, but now, now.things were different. She felt something nagging at her everyday, something she couldn't explain. But the exhaustion never left her. She was just so tired of it all! Tired in mind, body, and spirit. You could say she was bored. She wanted to leave, but what was there out there? She hadn't done anything else her entire life! She had no other kind of work experience, and besides, who would want to hire a circus freak? She sighed. A soft knock at the door startled her from her thoughts. Turning to the door she quickly put on a smile that suddenly lost its fakeness when she realized who had been knocking.  
  
"Inuyasha."  
  
"Hey. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine. It's not like I'm nervous. We do this everyday. There's nothing to be nervous about anymore right?"  
  
"Aa."  
  
Kikyo smiled as Inuyasha sat on the counter that she had all of her make up and things on but slightly to her right. She reached up and held his hand that was lying on his leg. "What's wrong?" She asked looking up at his slightly spaced out look.  
  
He stared blankly at her for a moment before shaking his head and smiling warmly. "Nothing, I was just thinking about something."  
  
"What about?" She said, taking his hand into hers and making a small circle along the outside with her thumb.  
  
He shook his head again. "It's not important."  
  
She gave him a curt look before shrugging it off. Inuyasha.was she bored of him also? She looked up at him again. Could she ever be bored of that handsome face? Those burning dark blue eyes that softened only when he looked at her, the long, black as night hair that usually hung to his waist but was now pulled up in a high ponytail, the strong arms that held her when she needed to be.and sometimes when she didn't want to be but he just wanted to, the arrogant, self-centered, jackass attitude that he used as a mask to hide his true feelings underneath or the kind, loving, caring Inuyasha that very few people have ever seen. Inuyasha.her Inuyasha.was she, could she be bored of him? After all they had been through could this really have been it?  
  
He sat dressed in their usual performance attire, just those really tight, white spandex pants and white toe shoes that he hated more than anything. For some reason none of the men in this circus wore shirts, which may have been the reason why there were more and more women coming to the shows than men lately.  
  
Inuyasha stared at Kikyo's thoughtful expression for a while, wondering what she was thinking. What is going on in that head of yours Kikyo.he thought. He had wondered why of all days she hadn't been nervous. He shrugged it off, maybe she just got used to it. Although he had butterflies fluttering like hell around in his stomach he would never admit it. He decided to break the unusual silence between them.  
  
"Why are you wearing that outfit tonight?" He asked, raising a brow.  
  
"Hm? What? What's wrong with it?" She asked, eyeing her outfit.  
  
"It looks like a fucking swimming suit." He snorted.  
  
"It does not." She said, letting go of his hand and standing up. She looked at herself in the mirror.  
  
"It does too! It looks like a white, one-piece swimming suit Kikyo, don't act like you don't see it!" He said, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
Kikyo looked at herself in the mirror for a moment before turning around and looking at the back. Okay so it did look a LITTLE BIT like a one-piece swimming suit, but the difference was that people didn't exactly walk around with sparkling jewels around the neck and shoulders!  
  
"It has sleeves Inuyasha."  
  
"So."  
  
"Therefore, it doesn't look like a swimming suit."  
  
"Keh. I say it looks like a fucking swimming suit, so it looks like a swimming suit."  
  
"Oh?" Kikyo raised an eyebrow. "And since when have you been making such decisions Mr. Yasha?"  
  
He smirked and reached out and hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. "Since now." He said, his gaze turning half-lidded as he turned his head slightly, closing the gap between their lips.  
  
Kikyo at once melted into Inuyasha's tight embrace and immediately returned the kiss. They had been dating for months now, starting off only as partners in the trapeze act, but as fate would have it there had been a blossoming romance between the two and they had become everyone's favorite couple. Everything had felt so right when she was with Inuyasha. He had been such a jerk when she had met him at first, he always insulted her and his language was so awful! But after a while he began to open up and she had been able to meet the real Inuyasha, the guy who had a soft spot for blood and carnage in movies and loved ramen. No one could touch his ramen, in the package or not! If he had it out and was going to make it, you got within a forty-foot range and he was on you like white on rice! But he had a sense of humor also, and he could be very passionate when he felt like it.  
  
But suddenly, none of that mattered anymore. Kikyo suddenly came to a startling revelation; yes she was tired of him. She couldn't feel any of the sparks that she usually felt when she kissed him. She felt no burning desire to shove the make up from the table and have him take her in the few minutes they had before curtain time. Not that she and him had ever.been that far, but the desire had been there! She was a little surprised. She couldn't feel anything anymore. There was nothing there for him, nothing for him to feed off of and give back to her. She had to end this.  
  
Kikyo slowly pulled away from his embrace, ending the kiss slowly so she wouldn't have him thinking anything was wrong. "Come on, we're going to be starting soon." She said, going toward the door.  
  
Inuyasha hopped from the counter and turned out her light as they exited, his cheeks a little flushed. He coughed and gained his composure as he jogged to catch up with her. He had to tell her.  
  
"Kikyo." He said as he caught up with her.  
  
"Hey! You two, it's time to start!" Miako, one of the acrobats said as she passed them.  
  
"All right." They said in unison. Inuyasha smirked, but Kikyo rolled her eyes. He didn't see it.  
  
  
  
' @ '  
  
Inuyasha and Kikyo stood at the top of the post, waiting for the spotlight to land on them so they could begin. It had all became so familiar to them now. Everything was easy. They were such good trapeze artists that they could carry on conversations while they were together swinging in the air. They rarely did it, but sometimes they felt it was necessary.  
  
"And now.the dashing duo.Kikyo and Inuyasha!!!" The booming voice of the ringmaster called out from way below.  
  
"Ready Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked, taking a hold of the bar and getting ready to go out first.  
  
Kikyo nodded. "Ready."  
  
Inuyasha smiled and swung out, immediately going into a double flip and latching onto the next bar. He swung back and forth before swinging up and latching his ankles onto the bar and holding his arms out. Nothing too difficult, but the crowd oohed and ahhed anyway.  
  
Kikyo took a deep breath and caught the bar Inuyasha had previously swung out on, swinging back and on her way forward letting go of the bar and doing a double flip to catch Inuyasha's steady hands. The crowd cheered and Inuyasha grinned down at her.  
  
They swung back and forth two times before Inuyasha launched Kikyo into the air where she flipped and landed in a seated position on the bar above him. The crowd cheered once again.  
  
Kikyo's smiling face hid the thoughts that were running through her mind. She was just tired. So tired of it all. There was no more excitement in her life. Inuyasha had failed to keep her happy.or had she failed in keeping herself happy? It didn't matter. She would just finish this show and then go and tell everyone that she had to leave. She was going to end her relationship with Inuyasha also. No need in having him follow in her footsteps like a love sick puppy.  
  
By now they had done a series of flips, each becoming more "difficult" as the routine went on. Kikyo sighed as she swung back for the final series of flips, where she would do a double to Inuyasha, he would catch her and fling her up over the bar and back down where he would catch her again, and then he would toss her to another bar and the routine would end with him flipping off his bar and Kikyo catching him and holding him by the leg while they did an ending pose.  
  
As she swung out for the flip a thought came to her mind. Where would she go? She had no other family than her little sister Kaede, but that was it. She had no money, no car, or a house. She couldn't go anywhere and she couldn't stay in the circus! There was only one way out. Her arms reached out she came out of the flip and Inuyasha's strong hands clasped hers and held on as if he were her lifeline, the only thing that mattered to him in the world. That could have possibly been true, but it didn't matter to her anymore.  
  
"Ready Kikyo?" He said, a big smile on his face. He let go of one of her arms so he could use the other to help fling her farther.  
  
Kikyo looked up at him. She didn't say anything and she didn't smile. His smile faded. The routine was almost over, what was wrong with her?  
  
"I.I'm sorry.Inuyasha." Kikyo said, her face not expressing anything. Inuyasha's eyebrows furrowed, in mere seconds he was going to fling her to the other bar and he would jump after her, and she would catch him like she always did and they would end the routine and go back to one of their dressing rooms and talk.like they always did.  
  
"K-Kikyo?" He didn't understand.  
  
"I'm sorry." She let go.  
  
Inuyasha's eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat. She let go of his hand! They were so high up! There were no nets to catch her!  
  
"Kikyo!!"  
  
She smiled as she saw the horrified expression cross Inuyasha's handsome features as she let go of his hand. He tried to reach for her again but the gap between them quickly became bigger and she finally felt at peace when she had let go. She had let go of him and everything else all at once. All of her troubles were solved, and she gave in to the darkness that filled her senses as she fainted before her body hit the ground.  
  
"Kikyo.Kikyo! KIKYO!!!" Inuyasha cried, almost dropping to the ground himself as he scrambled to turn himself upright and get down from the great height.  
  
The crowd went into a horrified silence as every man, woman and child saw Kikyo let go of Inuyasha's hand and fall to the hard ground below. No one had been able to scream. The only sound that rang out was Inuyasha's cries of her name as she fell.  
  
A crowd of some of the performers came and enclosed around Kikyo before Inuyasha could reach her. He hand climbed down the ladder as fast as he could, skipping some of the steps and jumping the last ten before tearing into a run to the middle of the floor. He pushed past the performers who had gathered and stopped cold when the ringmaster checked for a pulse before standing and shaking his head slowly.  
  
Immediately Miako's cries filled the quiet arena, and she collapsed into another performers arms and he held her tight, turning away with a grim expression.  
  
"No.no.no!" Inuyasha cried, shoving the ringmaster away and kneeling down to Kikyo's body. He dropped to his knees and held her up to his chest, tears threatening to come but he would not let them. "Kikyo.Kikyo why?! WHY KIKYO?!" He cried, gritting his teeth as he rocked back and forth and clenching his eyes shut. Images of their times together flashed through his mind like wildfire and it broke his heart even more to think that she hadn't been happy. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. It had been his fault. Kikyo killed herself because of him, because he could not make her happy.  
  
He clenched his jaw tight and fought like the warrior he had always been to keep the tears from coming. He would not let them come!!  
  
"Kikyo.why? Why didn't you say anything.why couldn't you just tell me?" He whispered, his voice shaking, threatening to help in the onslaught the tears were doing to his eyes. He shut his eyes tighter.  
  
She would never answer though, and he probably would never know the answer.  
  
His beloved Kikyo was dead.  
  
  
  
*~  
  
So what did you think? I probably should have looked up the terms for the equipment used because it probably makes me sound like a real dumass, ne? I couldn't help it I'm sorry! This idea just came into my head and I HAD to get it out today! Did you like it, hate it? Sorry for all of you Kikyo haters out there for the somewhat of a fluff Inuyasha and her had in this chapter. But I kind of needed it. I don't really hate Kikyo anyway. Did this seem kind of rushed to anyone? I think it did, again its because of my neeeeeeed to get this out ^.^; gomen ne gomen ne!! Like it, Hate it, Completely confused, want to hit me with a baseball bat? Um.lets not do that last one okies? Please R&R and tell me what you think!  
  
(if its that bad then I'll definitely put some more work into it ^.^;;) 


	2. The Fallen Warrior

Wow its been quite a while..*coughs* um..yes..if you want an explaination check out my newest addition to Inuyasha: A Victorian Love Story! Um…quite sorry for the long delay.  You forgive me yes? No? Well..FINE THEN! Take…take this! *showers readers with Inuyasha and Lord of the Rings gifts* Take that! ^.^

Chapter 2: The Fallen Warrior

_Kikyou looked up at him.  She didn't say anything and she didn't smile.  His smile faded.  The routine was almost over, what was wrong with her?_

_"I…I'm sorry…Inuyasha…" Kikyou said, her face not expressing anything.  Inuyasha's eyebrows furrowed, in mere seconds he was going to fling her to the other bar and he would jump after her,  and she would catch him like she always did and they would end the routine and go back to one of their dressing rooms and talk…like they always did…_

_"K-Kikyou?"  He didn't understand._

_"I'm sorry…" She let go._

_Inuyasha's eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat.  She let go of his hand! They were so high up!  There were no nets to catch her!  _

_"Kikyou!!" _

_She smiled as she saw the horrified expression cross Inuyasha's handsome features as she let go of his hand.  He tried to reach for her again but the gap between them quickly became bigger and she finally felt at peace when she had let go.  She had let go of him and everything else all at once.  All of her troubles were solved, and she gave in to the darkness that filled her senses as she fainted before her body hit the ground._

_"Kikyou…Kikyou! KIKYOU!!!" Inuyasha cried, almost dropping to the ground himself as he scrambled to turn himself upright and get down from the great height._

_The crowd went into a horrified silence as every man, woman and child saw Kikyo let go of Inuyasha's hand and fall to the hard ground below.  No one had been able to scream.  The only sound that rang out was Inuyasha's cries of her name as she fell._

_A crowd of some of the performers came and enclosed around Kikyo before Inuyasha could reach her.  He hand climbed down the ladder as fast as he could, skipping some of the steps and jumping the last ten before tearing into a run to the middle of the floor.  He pushed past the performers who had gathered and stopped cold when the ringmaster checked for a pulse before standing and shaking his head slowly.  _

_Immediately Miako's cries filled the quiet arena, and she collapsed into another performers arms and he held her tight, turning away with a grim expression.  _

_"No…no…no!" Inuyasha cried, shoving the ringmaster away and kneeling down to Kikyou's body.  He dropped to his knees and held her up to his chest, tears threatening to come but he would not let them.  "Kikyou…Kikyou why?! WHY KIKYOU?!" He cried, gritting his teeth as he rocked back and forth and clenching his eyes shut.  Images of their times together flashed through his mind like wildfire and it broke his heart even more to think that she hadn't been happy.  Then it hit him like a ton of bricks.  It had been his fault.  Kikyo killed herself because of him, because he could not make her happy.  _

_He clenched his jaw tight and fought like the warrior he had always been to keep the tears from coming.  He would not let them come!! _

_"Kikyou…why?  Why didn't you say anything…why couldn't you just tell me?" He whispered, his voice shaking, threatening to help in the onslaught the tears were doing to his eyes.  He shut his eyes tighter._

_She would never answer though, and he probably would never know the answer._

_His beloved Kikyou was dead._

"KIKYOU!"  Inuyasha shot up, eyes wide and breathing hard.  A dream…it had all been a dream! He wiped his forehead and kicked the sheets from his legs.  He was covered in sweat.  "A dream…" He whispered.

Kikyou wasn't dead.  In fact, it was her who stirred next to him in his bed and mumbled in her sleep, something that sounded like 'Inuyasha shut up.'  He smiled to himself as his racing heart slowed to a steady beat and reached over, plucking Kikyou from her side of his bed and into his arms.  She uttered a cry of surprise as her back was smashed against his chest and his arms around her waist, gripping her like a vice.

"Inu…yasha?" She questioned groggily, unsure of what was going on.  Her vision was kind of blurred after being awakened so suddenly.

"Shh…" Inuyasha whispered, tucking his chin in the crook of her neck.  He sighed and smirked as he felt goosebumps popping up on her where their skin touched.

"Kikyou…I…I wanted to tell you something…" Inuyasha said, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on her causing her to gasp.  

"Inuyasha, wait you don't-

"Shh..Kikyou..i just want to tell you…I wanted to tell you before we performed the big show tomorrow night…I…I love you, Kikyou." He said, wispering the last part.

Kikyou went stiff and Inuyasha waited as he felt her tense.  Would she refuse him? Would she accept? It had taken him so long to be able to open up to her.  She had shown him kindness and understanding.  She taught him how to trust, and to love.

"Inuyasha…I…I don't love…I can't love you.." 

Inuyasha's heart stopped and his eyes shot open.  How…how could she not accept?  After all they had been through?  When she had taught him how to love, didn't she at least expect that one day he would give that love to her? 

"Kikyou…b-but..I…" He stammered, at loss for words.  His lifted his head and his arms went slack.  "Kikyou…"

She grabbed his arms and pushed them away from her and shot away from him to the edge of the bed and turned around.

"That's just it Inuyasha…" Kikyou said, and he raised his heartbroken eyes to her, getting the shock of his life.

"I'm not Kikyou."

Ah this one is kinda short…this isn't  like me to have such a short chapter! What's going on here? But don't worry, for your enjoyment I have another one just itching for you to get to! So go ahead and hop to it, you don't HAVE to review if you don't want to, it's not like I'm going to come to your door with my spork army and take you into captivity and torture you with feathers and other such tickly things until you give in and review…heh heh heh  chapter 3 will be out soon!


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